Archive for the ‘Ask Paul’ Category

Remember this guy? Ask Paul, is back!

February 24, 2010
Remember this guy?!
Hideous I know…
Back, in the dark ages (last summer) my husband would cry himself to sleep at night because he was sooo left out of the blogging world. I felt like it was my duty to give him a voice and we did a segment called “Ask Paul”. You can read the first one HERE
It started off a little slow, but soon took off to where he was getting about 20 emails a week. Quite honestly, I was really surprised. One week he even got 41 emails. Then he quit. I think it freaked him out. 
Well, he’s back! Ready to take all your coupon, what’s wrong with my husband, I hate my dog also, and I can’t wait for football season to be back, questions!
You can email him at
* Look for Ask Paul on either Friday or Saturday nights, because basically when you have 6 kids and your wife is pregnant with your 7th you don’t have a life! This IS your weekend entertainment!

P.S. My Mother has never had so much fun photoshopping in her life! I can still here her giggling! 


Ask Paul August 7th…

December 8, 2009

Dear Paul…

Paul, Rumor on the street is you have a secret closet full of butterscotch. Can you confirm or deny? –Ben ( Your favorite Brother-in-law!)
It’s only a secret from you Ben. Tonia had some great coupons and asked me to hold it until your birthday.
Inside the family joke- It is a well known fact that butterscotch has been the fave candy of stars such as Liberachi, Elton John, and Lance Bass, well you get the picture.

What happens when you have borrowed someone’s trailor to haul compost from a mushroom farm and the tire blows in Huntsville, TX on a Sunday? WWPD? From Suzanne D.

I cannot bear the pain to relive this. For those of you that need to feel better about your day… click here.

OK, I want to know a good way to motivate men to help out around the house. My friends and I all have the same problem–our husbands/boyfriends won’t help out around the house, and then they complain that we complain too much (I know ironic isn’t it) so what should we do to better motivate them and not come off looking like a bunch of witches.
We could really use a man’s opinion on the matter
From Meagan and John.

Excellent question, this is where I can really be some help. Once Tiff took these 3 steps everything in our house ran a lot smoother.
1. Lower your expectations. Most men marry above themselves.(and we’re the dumb ones)
2. Spend less time on the computer and other frivolous activities.(you probably could have finished whatever you wanted done by the time you are done reading this post)
3.Don’t wear yourself out , your man might need you for something later. 😉

Okay seriously,
Work together on a plan where everyone (including Mom & Dad) in the household is assigned a specific duty and/or area. The key to this is give him the basic idea but let him take charge and assign the duties. Call a family meeting and let him assign the duties to each member.(if it is our plan we are more likely to want to see it work.. MALE EGO!)

According to the Paul, what is the best line from Holy Grail besides, “But I don’t want to, Fathah, all I want to do is sing!” From Taylor Clan

I know this is not what people want to hear, but for me the best line is
“The End”
I’m not a huge monty python fan. Sorry!

Do you dog-sit? And can I send YOU to the store with my grocery list and coupons? 🙂 You rock! From Hillori

Sorry Hillori, you will have to find your own village idiot.

So…what are you wearing? From Alissa Warner

All this and a personality.
Tiff is a REALLY lucky girl!

I hope you know what you are talking about. My boyfriend just broke up with me and wouldn’t tell me why. I am so heart broken and cry all the time. What do I do? How can I get over him? Why do guys do that? I gave him everything he could possibly want. Why? He won’t even talk to me or acknowledge me. Why? What did I do?
Help me understand, Janice

After posting the picture above, Tiffany says I may be available.
I unfortunately have no real idea what I am talking about. Tiff breaks up with me all the time and I cry a lot too. Its good to know I’m not alone, maybe that will help you too.
Seriously, we are all idiots I’m sorry that happened to you. Don’t ever give us everything we want, we are too dumb to know you don’t have any more to give.

So…who wears the pants in the house??? Do fess up… 🙂 From -Katie Lake Placid, Fl

Obviously not me!


Ask Paul…

December 2, 2009

I’d like to introduce my husband Paul, who is now taking questions….

I would like to thank my wife for allowing me to pontificate in her forum. I am sure she is just hoping that I get it out of my system before she and the kids have to hear it. Anyway if any of this advice seems to make sense or you feel you are really getting answers to tough questions, please see a professional before it’s too late. And with that, here we go!
How did you handle your last proctology exam?
From Taylor Clan.
I am glad you gave me the opportunity to let men in on the sure fire secret of  a pleasant to mildly discomfortable proctology exam. You can make sure you have the best proctologist in the area by interviewing them all and asking them just one simple question; “Can I see your hands?’ Find the doctor with he smallest hands and he is without a doubt the best proctologist in town.

I am a single male, do women find it hot that I coupon? From Brett C.
Brett, The answer to that is Yes and No, here is the breakdown. All of the women that are married and are couponing  to keep from filing bankruptcy will think you are smoking hot. The single women that you should be more interested in will probably think that you live in your Mom’s basement and have a cat. Whatever makes you happy brother.

What is the average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow? Love your favorite Sister-in-law Anna
Without getting into the quantum physics that I know you aren’t that interested in, the age old question posed by Monty Python is 24 MPH. Next time come stronger than that, I eat those weak trivia questions for lunch.

How do you feel when your wife sends you to the store with a list and an envelope of coupons? From the checkout guy at Kroger
I am thrilled that I have a wife to send me with an envelope of coupons and that I’m not the guy checking people out at the Kroger. Do you live in your Mom’s basement and have a cat? Brett, next time only one question per session.


Ask Paul August 20th…

August 21, 2009

It’s that time again! Time to email your most important questions to Ask Paul! Did you miss the last Ask Paul session? Don’t fret it is right HERE. Please, please someone ask a question about our vacation so I can post a different picture than the one above….. I still vomit a little in my mouth every time I see it!

You can leave a comment or even email Paul directly at pbivan @ yahoo .com
He loves email, it has something to do with ego, makes him feel important. 🙂
Someone ask him what the dog ate while we were gone, see if you can actually feel the blood pressure rise through the computer!


Submit your Ask Paul questions!

August 6, 2009

Last week we kicked off the Ask Paul section of the blog. You can read about it HERE. You can also check out the answers to the questions you submitted last week HERE.

So, bring it on! Lets see what you’ve got! You can email me at or Paul at


New corner of the blog… Ask Paul.

July 31, 2009

Because we are the parents of 6 kids and have no weekend life, I am considering for the entertainment of all you other parents out there with suddenly no night life that we would start a corner of the blog called Ask Paul. I wanted to call it the Smokey Back Room, but that was already taken by a political forum. So either Friday or Saturday night’s, my husband Paul will be answering your comments or emails. Sounds like fun huh 🙂

Actually, the fun part is that he is completely unqualified to answer any Women’s questions and is totally untrained in the advice department…. just ask me! But he looks really smart, see above photo.
So send all your questions, or leave a comment. Be prepared that he is blunt and not afraid to say it like it is…. he likes answering the questions like: “how to you feel when your wife sends you to the store with a list and an envelope of coupons?” or “why do you hate your wife’s dog so much?” or even, “I can’t believe you have 6 kids, what does your wife find attractive about you?” and lastly, “I am a single male, do women find it hot that I coupon?” 
Don’t hesitate, if you have any big life changing questions feel free to let them fly! You can email him personally at or just leave a comment!